Archive for February 17th, 2007

GOING BUGGY!

It was getting  close to my time.  I was having numerous contractions.  We were getting very nervous.   Also we lived about a two hour drive from the hospital.

The car we inherited was a 1963 green Volkswagen bug that only ran when it felt like it.  Let’s just say that the gas mileage was even better when we had to push.  Being so far away from the hospital was nerve wracking  but this was my second child so my man figured I knew what I was doing.  So did I.

Our first trip was sooo exciting!  Just imagine, our first child together as a family. After we had driven for one hour towards Portland  our fantasies of familial harmony and well being were suddenly put on hold as we were pulled over by the police.   A tall officer of the law strolled over to our vehicle and asked what the rush was?  “My wife’s in labour officer! We’re on our way to OHSU.”    He replied, “Really?” as he bent over sideways and  gazed at my belly looking like he thought I had stuffed a pillow under my shirt. “Were you aware you had a tail light out?” He asked in an accusatory tone.  “Yes Yes officer, I promise I’ll take care of that as soon as we get to the hospital! said hubby.  The man with the badge stood and considered this for a moment then said, “I think I better check your turn signals and make sure they are all in working order.”   He walked around back.   My husband whispered, “Great! What will we do now? The signals don’t blink  automatically!”  I wispered back, “Just slip your hand up there and move the handle up and down with the same rhythm of the blinker!”  My man managed to pull off this charade and the officer almost wrote us a warning ticket for the broken tail light.  I grabbed my huge belly and groaned. That got us outta there quick.  

When we began the ascent up the hill to the hospital, the bug died.  It was only a 6 volt machine and running here with the headlights on had severely taxed its’ capabilities. Hub slammed on the brakes (at least they still worked) and sat for a moment thinking.  Why did these things always happen late at night in the dark with no one else around?

“Ok, sweetie here’s what we’er going to do.  Let’s push the bug around the corner where there’s that really long steep incline and when the car is rolling good we’ll jump in and I’ll pop the clutch.”    I said, “Wait! Hold on a minute! You can’t pop the clutch going DOWN HILL BACKWARDS!  What if a car comes? Have YOU EVER done that?!”    He just grinned and said, “As long as you stand here and argue with me we’ll never know if it can be done, will we?”  I started to argue but was hit by another contraction and I decided to place some energy else where. 

We lined the bug up and began to push. (I wished I was at the hospital doing the other kind of pushing) Have you ever seen a 9 months pregnant woman pushing a Volkswagen bug backwards down a hill? It’s not a very pretty sight, I’ll tell you!

The car began to roll and just as I started to fling my rotund self into  the car the door caught on a hillside and bent on the hinge. I yelped and hub hit the brakes. “Great” , he said. Now we have to start over again. “And I’m soooo thankful you didn’t run your wife over with THE CAR!, I snapped. I got out and tried to close to bent door.

Getting into position again we began to roll down hill and we both leaped in.  Well, he leaped in. I threw my butt into the seat and hauled my legs in with my arms.  Then I held the bent door shut as we gained speed coasting down the hill. Popping the clutch the car sputtered to life and we chugged the rest of the way to the hospital.

I was dilated 3 centimeters but my labor had stopped.   The doctor looked at me and said, “Well this is highly unusual for someone whose had a child before. Sometimes over exertion or excitement will cause labor to stop.  Was your trip up here eventful?

We both looked over at each other , simultaneously shrugged our shoulders and said, “Nahhhh, Piece of Cake”.

Next blog, the last trip to the Portland Hospital.