Slug Latte’

With such a small apartment we didn’t do very much entertaining. My kitchen was a cute little cubicle the size of a closet.  There was a long hand hewn counter top for the table. The living room was on the other side of that. We slept in the living room on a fold out couch and our daughter slept in a small alcove bedroom. 

My husband often indicated exasperation at my lack of hospitality when folks came over.  Instead of a what can I get for you type of persoanlity, I often conveyed a get it yourself type. However, wanting to please my man I often made attempts at appearing hospitable anyway. I loved to visit, or I loved to serve, just not both at the same time.  I have a tendency to hurt my self when I try to do more than one thing at a time.  One fine afternoon a long time friend of my husbands came over for a visit and to meet the new bride.  I offered to fix us all coffee.   

Hubby had found one of our few coffee mugs outside sitting upright on a fence post. Inside said cup was a huge, gross, slimy pulsating slug.  He dumped it out and walked upstairs placed this cup upside down in the sink.  About this time the coffee had begun to perk. I walked over while he was chatting with his friend and grabbed the upside down mug.  (In the home where I came from an upside down mug meant someone had washed it and left it to drain in the sink. Apparently the same gesture in my mans home meant a dirty cup please wash)  I grabbed the mug without looking inside and poured a steaming cup of brew in to it.

Guess which mug I served to my new friend?  We were enjoying our coffee when I noticed my man had gone quite pale.  Odd.  I kept glancing from our friend, (who was very much enjoying his coffee) and back to hub. Usually  up beat with our friends he kept  quiet this time. There was a look of  horror on his face. I just couldn’t understand what was wrong with him. 

We said good by to our friend and went upstairs.  “What on earth is wrong with you?” I asked.  “Did you wash that cup you gave him?” he asked.  “Noooo, why would I wash an already clean cup?” I asked.  “BECAUSE  everyone knows you wash cups that are in sinks!”  “Well everyone in my family knows that upside down cups are CLEAN!”   “I CAN’T believe you didn’t at least LOOK!” He yelled.  “Well I can’t believe you didn’t wash it out yourself!” I yelled back.

Sitting on the couch with his hands covering his face, he moaned, “I’ll NEVER be able to face my friend again!”   “Why?” I asked, “He clearly enjoyed it, slug slime or not. Just don’t tell him!”   

Their relationship was never the same.  Every time my husband visited with his friend, visions of coffee slugs danced in his head.  It really put a damper on the conversation.  I don’t know though. Since he clearly enjoyed the flavour, perhaps we’ve stumbled on a new coffee shop recipe.

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1 Response to “Slug Latte’”


  1. 1 horrendous soupbone September 10, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    i read recently about your kid’s money earning project. perhaps you aren’t aware of an alternate use for this product. if it is properly fermented,and distilled; it makes a fine shine. very much like a good sake. i did notice some annoying rabbit fur in the last batch.(what’s the last sound a rabbit hair makes before it hits the ground? ppttuiii!) a wire mesh filter has solved this annoying problem. another benefit of this byproduct of your product is relief of constipation,but this treatment may be alittle harsh for all but those of the most hearty constitutions. thanx,The Bone


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