Archive for February 2nd, 2007

GEOGRAPHICLY IMPAIRED

LIFE AND LIMERICK

In Pittsburgh I am now told

Blue Men are there to behold

Ambassadors for the City

Also helpful and pretty

You’ll never get lost or rolled!

Cathe

          Apparently Pittsburgh has decided to help those of us who are directionally challenged.  I wish they had these guys in Anchorage when I was first married. It would have saved me allot of grief.  But then again maybe not.

         One morning my new hubby asked me if I knew the way to the local lumbar yard.  Informing him that I knew exactly where it was and had in fact been by there on many occasions, we jumped into the  yellow pick up truck to buy needed job materials.

        It was one of those cheerful Alaskan spring mornings and all was right with the world.  We drove along happily chatting away.  “turn right at the next light”,  I said.  Right turn executed we continued on.  “Oh, turn left at this intersection.”  Lumbering and bouncing along in our faithful truck we traveled for another full minute and I told him to turn right at the next stop sign. Then left at the next block and right at the next.  “Now here is where it gets tricky”, I informed him.  “At this intersection here turn left but then immediately get into the right lane and go one block where you’ll turn right again.”

By this time  my spouse had ceased chatting with me and had a look of concerned curiosity on his face.  Hmmm, he must be trying to memorize the route there. I had better not interrupt him.  I sat back quietly and waited for the next turn. “There!”, I yelped, “turn left!” I had almost missed it.  He kept glancing over at me and looking more and more curious.

“Are you sure….” he started to say and I interrupted him with, “Now turn right there!”  “Honey”, he said in a very measured tone, “ummmm how many more turns is this going to take?”

“Ohhhhh, about 5 more,  but I can’t quite remember though you can see the lumber yard from the next to last turn.”

As we completed the number of required turns, the lumber yard appeared in front of us.  Grinning I said, “See? I told ya I knew the way!”  He sat at the steering wheel staring out in front as if in deep thought. Then he said, “Sweetie, the lumber yard is only 10 minutes from our home and it just took us 45 minutes to get here with no traffic against us.  Just how did you pick this particular route?”  Hopping from the truck I proudly proclaimed that this was the public bus route.

“What?” he exclaimed.  “Well sure,” I said. I’ve traveled this way for 6 years now. I know the route like the back of my hand.”  “Don’t you ever use a map?” he asked incredulous.  “OHHH NOOO! I Can’t read maps! I’m dyslexic.”

“What do  you mean you can’t read a map?  Anybody can read a map, you just have to put your mind to it. I can show you.” Looking him straight in the eye so I communicated my message clearly I said, “I can NOT read a map, I am dyslexic. I find other ways to get around, end of story.”  “But..”  “NO!”  “I’m just saying that…” “NO!”

I walked into the store determined he was not going to stress me out trying to teach me an impossible task.  He walked into the same store determined that with a little TLC and some patience he could teach me.  Little did we both know that this event would take on a life all its’ own, constantly lurking at the back of our relationship and nipping at the heels of our contentment. Next blog be ready for : The 9 Year Long Map Reading Lesson!

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